American-Style Peace by Killing War Vets

(any colouring of the text is due to American's inability to make a normal coding thing in Blogger, despite it being owned by a billion-dollar company, Google, somehow they couldn't produce a simple text template, eh!  Makes my point about Vietnam even more poignant.  As coding is easier than world peace bros!)

Let's talk about warfare, err, I mean peacekeeping, since I am afterall a bonafied Canadian living in Toronto.  I should know a lot about peacekeeping, after all, I even got tortured for years at the hands of Toronto Police and other medical staff so I know a thing or two about keeping your cool when under stress, or when your life is endangered by lunatics with guns whom the government claims are serving and protecting us but not oppressing us.  Here me out and grasp but not for straws.  We will talk about a simple case of a fallen ice cream and a child for I believe we all, no matter what universe we may be from, can relate - and believe me, in Canada, there are many people from the farthest reaches of outer space.  They're that multicultural here in the good ol' T..

I had an ice cream cone as a little kid in Belgrade.  Back then it was still Jugoslavia, but unfortunately just like Krakozhy in The Terminal, I no longer have a homeland, for mine was destroyed.  While certainly a bunch of silly people got a hold of the Serbian government and began running the show in Belgrade even and took over the administrative offices of that city and all the relevant paperwork, and they would like to claim that I am a Serbian citizen now, I disagree, for I was not born in the nation of Serbia, but only in the nation of Jugoslavia.  And since my home nation does not exist, I do not classify myself as a Serbian whatsoever.  To me, Belgrade is now run by a foreign administration, as Jugoslavians were my people, and not Serbs.  When I was a kid, I lived in Belgrade, part of Jugoslavia, not Belgarde, part of Serbia.  When I was learning the borders of my nation, it was never the borders and coastlines of Serbia, was it?  When we were asked to draw our nation's outline, which I can still do without looking at the map, it was the outline of Jugoslavia.  And if my home land now has none of those curves, then it has none of my curves, you dig?  Glad we agree finally.  If you were born in a circle, but now it's a dot, is it where you were born?  No, it is not.  Dots are not circles.  But unfortunately some people believe humans are cattle, and whomever has paperwork of your birth, and whomever knows your name, can claim they own your cow hide.  I disagree.  Unfortunately again, I do not have weapons, so I can not defend my point of view.  They have weapons and can defend their perspective that I am a citizen of Serbia.  So we are going to have to agree to disagree, right?  Now as I was saying, I had an ice cream cone in Jugoslavia's Belgrade as a child and it fell on the ground and I cried and my mom bought me a new one, a week later, as we were that poor.  I'm sure I cried a bit in between, or maybe much, or maybe not at all, but that is not relevant, and neither was our poverty, for I am even poorer now in Canada at the age of forty - in fact, I can't afford an ice cream for years now.

Here is what truly is important, there were no nuts in my ice cream cone.  I will explain later why this is important and how it relates to war vets, but trust that it is highly relevant so keep it at the back of your mind and never forget that the ice cream that I never got to eat had no nuts in it.  It is that big of a deal, and usually if I do not emphasize that point, people forget the type of ice cream that I lost.  Ok, now why is it important in terms of peace and American-style peace.  Well to get that ice cream, the store had to have it on sale.  For that a trucker had to deliver it to the market.  And I had to know that I liked ice cream with crunchy nuts in it.  Furthermore, someone must have taken the time to show me ice cream even existed in the world, for believe it or not there are tribes living in jungles still on this Earth whom have never seen a fridge, let alone ice cream.  I know you all think the world is ours, but it is not the case - there are people who have never heard electronic music or seen a pair of headphones or know what a record is, and if you told them "drop the bomb" they would laugh and ask you to touch your shoulder.  In other words, for me to have cried when that ice cream hit the street concrete, a lot of people were involved in creating that simple magical and yet dissatisfying event.  In fact, someone out there had to teach their sons how to milk a cow and another person had to study blades of grass and figure out what makes them grow despite the driest seasons.  I know you all thought it's just ice cream, but remember, I love nuts in my ice cream, and cows do not eat nuts, and neither can you feed grass well with walnuts.  These things matter and they are all related.  Nuts make me go around in circles, but not trucks.  It can be confusing, but if you put nuts into a gas tank, you do not get more nuts in your ice cream.  Is that not weird?  The more nuts you put into non-ice cream things, the less ice cream you lick has nuts in it.  It is a sort of non-intuitive logic but it all makes perfect sense and is reasonable.  And yes I know this is common sense, but do you see how it isn't when I explain it?

For example, if you lift more weights at a gym you get bigger muscles, right?  Wrong.  If you put more nuts into a truck you get more nuts in your ice cream?  No.  It is the same thing.  Nuts have to go at the right place at the right time, and so do weights at a gym.  Trust me, I tried putting nuts into a gas tank, and I got very little nuts in my ice cream, didn't I?  But I also tried lifting 500lbs with my puny child-like biceps, and I did get, believe it or not, the biggest muscle of any child, though it had the ugliest of names, it was called a hernia.  So I know from an early age that I, little Jugoslav and not little Serb, can think better than most kids.  Then again none of my friends tried increasing nuts in their lickable treats by giving the trucks nuts, so well, there's that.  Anyway, all this aside, here is how it relates to war vets and peace and murder of war vets.  Your children, North American societies, think this way that I just explained.  All of your kids in Canada and America think if you ban guns and destroy the NRA all violence will vanish.  All of your children believe that vets are responsible for terrible things in the world and the less soldiers exist the less bad things(tm) happen.  Many of your children, whom are now adults or even leaders of corporations and such have this Feed-Truck-Nuts thinking pattern, and believe me, you can test it if you have lots of money on your own truck.  But let me be the first to tell you, a giant truck is worth a lot of money and makes a lot of really ugly smoke and can catch on fire even if the wrong type of nut is used.  I still think I simply used the wrong set of nuts.  Maybe instead of feeding the ice cream delivery truck walnuts, I should have used peanuts, right dear scientists?  Is that how it works, this trial and error Ph.D. way of life you all have?  How many monkeys are dying right now anyone?  Stats Canada, will the real Stats Canada please stand up?!

These are not jokes, I am seriously trying to teach you that trucks can not give you more ice cream if you put any nuts into their gas tank.  Fascious?  No.  Seroiusly, it does not work.  Fire fighters can take hours to put out the flame resulting from this unfortunate reality that not one child ever can grasp without a scientific method of trying to have nuts in his ice cream.  This is why violence does not end if guns are banned.  This is also why equality can be brought into balance with feminism.  It is also why Vietnam war could not have been prevented with hippies protesting, anti-government riots, rebellious youth culture of ripped jeans, tattoos, and molotovs.  This is why.  None of you ever learned the truck-nuts example like I did as a kid because none of you are, at heart, scientists like me.  I try everything in the world.  But since my wrong-nut-in-gas-tank experiment, it took a whole month for our neighbourhood to get ice cream again, and I have to tell you, there were a lot of angry little kids.  So I did not dare try it again, in our neighbourhood that is.  I was going to try peanuts in another part of the city, but well first I had to save for two weeks my ice cream money and trick my mother into believing I was buying something other than ice cream.  For obviously she would never approve of me taking the bus, alone, considering I was born kinda sorta blind to boot, I mean my mother is a responsible person.  So yes, I lied to my mother, and told her I was buying ice cream at the farthest point in the ocean I was allowed to swim to and even said they had some left over as I knew she never walked there so she'd never find out that even that store was supplied by the now, for some reason, burnt truck.  How walnuts could damage a giant truck is beyond my level of comprehension to this very day, and I even tried studying engines.  I put nuts into my body and I can run faster, so why can't a truck give me more nuts faster?  I even saw them talking and walking just like me, and the more they ate the faster they walked and ran.  So clearly I misunderstood the type of nut and clearly it was not my fault.  But adults being crazy, I still have never told a soul that half a burned park, and garbage bins a blaze, that just happened to be full of cardboard paper from a school paper drive all burned in flames, well, that would not have gone over well.  But as the nation fell apart, and it's been decades, it's pretty much safe and it will help the world to know the truck-nuts deal.

Now in America, where the red necks and yellow bellies like to kill anyone weaker than themselves, hence why Texans have that unholly dont-pee-on-my-floor law, there was a news story of how a group of yee average American yocals murdered, in broad day light, a terrorist.  Well, the kids called him a terrorist, a criminal, an evil devil worshiper.  But that man was merely a white elderly soldier, somebody's grandpa, who was a war vet and was walking along the sidewalk very slowly.  They just ganged up on him, and beat him to death.  Why they did this is irrelevant.  But the point is not lost on anyone, for he defended their very ability to kill him, did he not?  If people like him shrugged when they saw a problem, those kids would not have been born, and other children would be in their places.  If you do not help the homeless, the money still leaves your pocket, does it not?  It's just that someone else gets it and you get instead a different experience.  You don't get the "I helped" but "I enjoyed" experience.  That's the tradeoff.  If soldiers did not defend America even from Nazism, the kids on those streets would likely have been somebody else's genetics, perhaps a little bit whiter than their already white skin, you know?  But then those whiter than white children would not have killed that war vet, for Nazis would have already killed him decades ago.  So, in reality, that man was dead long ago was he not?  People can think this way infinitely and it's the nuts-in-the-truck problem all over again.

Many people, historically and in documentaries, claim that if American troops did not go all the way to Vietnam, the war would not have happened.  They protested back home the issue.  They clashed with the Police.  And by clashed I mean they did more than what those wrong nuts did to the truck.  There was more than just metal and cardboard destroyed wasn't there?  And every last one of them thought perfectly well that they were hundred percent right in their opinions and that none of them could possibly ever ever ever be wrong in any way shape or form.  They were so right, that they were willing to kill the police for allowing American troops to kill Vietnamese people.  Did you see you believed it?  Let's read that again - the police allowed the Vietnam war.  Right?   Because if the police were not in the protestors way, the protestors would get to the government officials, and would force them to recall the troops home, and the war would have ended, so therefore, the police were allowing the war by clashing with the protestors, or really by protecting the politicians and the signatories.  So the police are the problem, so must kill them and then peace will happen.  Must kill and then peace.  Kill for peace.  Peace through murder.  Small crimes for bigger good?  Lesser of two evils?  Wrong type of nuts in the wrong neighbourhood?  Wrong type of nuts inserted at the wrong angle into the truck in the wrong parking spot?  What was the real problem, why didn't I get ice cream with nuts?  Or did I eat ice cream with nuts?  I forgot, do you all remember?  I asked you all to remember didn't I?  I profously asked you to recall what ice cream I ate or didn't eat, right?

Here is the thing.  Why did the Vietnam war happen is really simple.  For the same reason the truck burned and for the same reason I cried.  Someone somewhere wanted it to be that way.  And someone somewhere also wanted it to be that other way.  I did not make the ice cream event all on my own did I?  The truck did not burn by itself.  And the war did not happen magically and spontaneously.  Vietnam war was engineered, so was the truck fire, and so were my tears on that Saturday morning at the market.  Coincidentally, where my tears were, is also where the fire was.  But that's pure coincidence and entirely unrelated.  For any war to be fought, even the one where my people were dying by the millions, soldiers are needed.  Everyone knows that.  For a truck to deliver ice cream, and for me to lick and chew nuts, there must be oil dug from the ground.  For soldiers to fight they must have weapons.  For weapons to exist, someone must make them.  For them to be useful someone must train them in the art of combat.  But for any of it to happen, and for the two sides to fight, someone somewhere has to say die.  And someone somewhere has to answer you die instead.  If only one side says die, then there's no war, is there?  There's just death.  But if the other side says no, then there's war, and that's what happened in Vietnam.  I am explaining it as simply as I can because your children killed a war vet and you people still do not get it what kind of ice cream I ate that day.  So I have to be very simple here as so many documentaries and years people wasted and nobody yet gets who is at fault for the Vietnam war.  Even the protesters did not understand it, which is ironic.  Coincidentally, swords are sometimes made of iron aren't they my trusty blacksmiths?

So the police made the war happen by getting in the way of protestors who wanted peace - oh look, the police said "die Vietnamese people" and the protestors said "no, you die evil Americans" and so the two sides were at war even in America.  My theory on why war happens is easy to prove is it not?  One side said die, the other said no, thus war.  If the protestors did not oppose the cops, there would have been no unrest in America during Vietnam war.  In fact, it would have been exactly like after 9/11 - there were zero Americans protesting for years and years and police clashing with them over warfare in the middle-east.  Isn't that interesting.  I haven't yet seen that on any documentary channels, nor that trucks are not using walnuts for fuel.  But that one I can kinda sorta understand now that I have seen a few archival records on what truly constitutes fuel.  And yet, I'm confused after reading about ethanol made from corn.  Trucks can take corn but not walnuts?  They're both round and hard, I mean come on.  You can see why as a child I was really really confused when the fire happened and yet a bit felt kinda guilty, too.  Thank God Ethanol became a fuel so now I feel less stupid.  Maybe you folks just haven't developed walnut-power like that other other world I thought I was in.

So why did the American teenagers kill the war vet?  Why didn't they kill a hot blonde?  Or a police officer?  Why didn't they gang up and kill a squirrel?  Or maybe they did, just nobody caught them?  Why did they not kill a 3 year old toddler?  Why was it a war vet, decorated, who served honourably, protected even their parents right to live and made sure that those very teenagers could drive cars, have sex, and drink until they are drunk.  Why that poor wounded man at the brink of death anyway?  Why?  And why didn't the truck accept walnuts?  And why didn't the police let the protestors talk in polite English to the signatories of the war?  Why didn't anyone think to elect a protest lead voice and have them in a United Nations style assembly address their concerns with the American leaders and then have a democratic vote on whether to end the Vietnam war?  We in Canada did that with the Quebec separatist movement.  We all voted 55-45 not to let Quebec separate and so now they're a happy province democratically a part of this beautiful peacekeeping family of cannucks.  Majority is more than fifty, right?  So why didn't the Americans, with their NASA, nuclear weapons, Disney theme parks, Hollywood, freaking Hollywood, why didn't they think to allow a census, a vote, on whether the Vietnam war should end or get even more funding?

Because they have the bomb.  Because of McDonald's.  But not because of Taco Bell, because that's Mexican and they never wage war.  What I wish to say with this text is, there was a vote already and none of you are aware of it for it was never explained but it was implied to have occurred.  It is in-built into the American constitution.  Every person was consulted, at least every person of importance, who was an adult, and their vote was cast and thus the Vietnam war started and was continued every day by their continuing votes.  You see, even the hippies protesting were just putting on a show, for the media.  They were actually behind-the-scenes voting for the Vietnam war to keep going.  But this was not made public knowledge.  I worry sometimes about sharing this but heck, it is the truth so might as well let you in on America's secret.  Here is how it works, it's a simple system really.  We have the public voting system, and the private (secret) voting system.  The public voting system we all as Americans vote for parties, political ones I mean.  Even in Canada, which is a part of America, North America, even we have votes, but well, our parties suck.  We even have a Quebec-Wants-To-Separate-Again political party.  That's how silly our democracy is.  I think it's because we don't have the bomb, if we did, we'd be way more important with our politics in the global realm of He-Said-He-Shot first.  Now, that's the public voting system of any real-heros-go-commando capitalist democratic and free and liberal nation of peoples formerly oppressed but now free.  That is in a nutshell the set of life forms that Americans belong to.  I don't have the proper expression after a pub night to explain, but bare with me.  The private (secret) voting system is what every American silently and stealthily (tricky word to spell!) uses to tell the government and military what to do on their behalf.  See, the protestors all pose for camera, but at home, they sit, and like good little CIA turds, they analyze everything from the wealth American society gives them.  They look at videos from around the world before other nations had cameras.  They saw satellite surveillance of many Amazon tribes before those tribes even knew what a 0.9nm fab was.  Americans at home, even the 500lb ones, know more about the universe and demolition derby physics than even the smartest man from Yemen, wherever that place is.  Do you know where it is?  But Americans know, for they had the Internet as far back as the 1970s, and no sir, Uzbekistan did not know what email was back then did it?  Your average American knew what a pip and a candle chart and a movator were before Osama had a single goat.  For all intents and purposes every last American free soul on this planet is smarter than Sir Isaac Newton.  And once they know all of this complicated stuff, what do they do?  They go out there, make a selection on a form, or these days on a website or an app, and they direct every decision of the American government through that private voting platform that no other nation believes to exist.  This is how even the hippies in the '70s told the American soldiers to go and kill in Vietnam.  This is how every last American actually said "FIGHT THE WAR" no matter what you saw on television.  And they did it by agreeing to pay their taxes.  Taxes fund soldiers, taxes fund weapons, taxes fund tanks and drop ships, and navy vessels.  Taxes built carriers, they built the nukes, and taxes paid for private jet liners for the president to fly in.  If you were not paying taxes, the Vietnamese war would never, ever, under any circumstances, happened.  If suddenly a year later the American government received zero votes for the war, there would have been zero soldiers in Vietnam that year.  But since you all kept feeding funds into the war machine, you all voted, stealthily for the soldiers to be over there.  Then you all posed for the cameras and stated you were not in favour of it, and so we all believed none of you wanted the war, whereas you all did.  Now, sure you can claim that if you did not pay your taxes you'd have gone to prison.  And that is true.  But if we are going to play that game sirs, what you are saying to me is "I did not want myself locked up, so I paid money for our soldiers to go to Vietnam and so Vietnamese people died instead of my anus."  I mean, if all the protestors and all their social circles did not pay a single penny in taxes and stopped shopping and only bought food, would there have been money for the war to last even another day?  If the entire state of Biggest-Populated-American-State(R) refused to go to work and did not pay taxes for a whole year, and you all lived off of your savings, would the government have put you all into prisons and spent that year building the capacity?  I ask in all earnest.  Because by giving me a laptop, someone voted, stealthily for me to write music, which is what I am doing while writing this and ignoring Tom Cruise behind me making a door close in some far fetched attempt to entertain me.  Why does Tom Cruise think closing a door a certain way is worth a million dollars I will never know, but you all believe it, too, which is why you all funded his door closing gesture and so someone made him close that door and now I get to watch it over and over and over and over.  You funded Tom Cruise closing a door behind me, and Tom Cruise closed a door behind me.  But he also opened another one.  And similarly you all funded Babe Ruth to make many home runs, and Babe Ruth did not fail.  We all funded ice cream companies by eating ice cream, and thus a truck burned.  Because none of you funded my education of how trucks only like different nuts, and maybe corn.  If you funded me knowing that, I would surely have followed your education.  But instead I became a scientist that day and the truck became, from what I heard on the Belgrade news report, well, it became a "klackalica".  I'll leave that for you all as a lesson in foreign relations and diplomacy.

Anyway, this big surfer looking dude with long hair is yelling at a police officer, and he tells him "WE DO NOT WANT THE WAR".  Then he goes home, and gives more money to the American government.  The money goes to the military budget.  The military allocates it to the purchase of a new helicopter.  The helicopter is built and delivered to spec, pristine precision and craftsmanship.  Then the rest of the surfer's funds goes to the paint store.  The paint is delivered to the Vietnam jungle.  A third part of the pie goes to the soldier's food.  Then it all comes together during the soldier's R'n'R.  The soldier does not want to kill anyone, so he paints teeth on the helicopter.  It's a fun distraction, as the man has to cope with you all, hippies and surfers included, forcing him to kill strangers.  So the soldier draws teeth on the helicopter, as you all tell each other even to this day "Art is therapy" right?  And then a tiny piece of the monetary pie that the hippi protesting the war sent to the military for the war goes to the Sergeant who simply clicks a button and yells "MOVE OUT".  And people die.  And then Apocalypse Now makes everyone even madder when that helicopter is in the film.  But none of you understood, the teeth on that chopper were therapeutic and not a sign of hatred.  And yet, you all protested the war, but gave money for the soldier to draw that graffiti, you all gave money for that therapy.  You all built weapons for the war, you all trained the soldiers, you all made love to the men, you all nurtured the politicians, and you all made clothing and bandages and the rest.  But the police are evil for clashing with the protestors?  The politicians are cruel and unkind for signing the war papers?  Excuse me?  McDonald's is guilty for my neighbour being 600 pounds?  I am rude by calling people fat?  Yes, I am rude.  And you all funded murder in Vietnam.  And now, for the whole point of this - did you remember, what kind of ice cream did I eat or not eat?

This is American-style peace.  The citizens blame governments, just like today's Serbs blame America for bombing Belgrade.  Fundamentalists blame other nations, and the Francophones in Quebec blame me for finally giving them the go ahead to leave Canada in case it back fires.  But nobody looks in the mirror and says "enough" and refuses to give to the other what they need to kill.  Nobody says to themselves "today is a day of peace" so I will not support war and by not support I mean I will not give money to those that do.  In Canada, food is not taxed.  Sale of food never goes to the government whatsoever.  But, sadly, ice cream is not food in Canada.  Neither are fattening chips.  And neither is a few other things, such as condoms.  So guess what that means dear Americans?  If you are against war, our borders are wide open.  Vote with the stealth system already.  Say no to war.  Come over here and do not vote for war here either.  Do not buy anything that gives taxes to our nation, and work and live by eating only food untaxed.  This is how I live for a decade now.  I do buy a beer here and there.  But I figure, the quantity of money I give to possibly-war-fund is so small, that only a skirmish between Quebec and the rest of the nation would be badly fought.  And the last time I bought a condom, boy, I don't even know what a hard on is anymore.  Many call me a loser, and I surely am, but I have not killed anyone directly or indirectly.  You people did.  Millions.  You all did.  And I know I'm not supposed to judge.  And neither should you.  But you know, when I say I didn't kill anyone, I think it means way more than when a red neck says it while driving an SUV, paying $150k in taxes every year, and dumping mercury into my oceans.  This is American-style peace, and is not brought to you by the American government at all.  It is funded by human beings, whose only crime was, not knowing what they were doing.  Just like I don't know what will happen when I push the publish button.  But I will not put walnuts into Toronto's trucks, I learned that lesson.  And right now, I have $3 and some change so I will go and buy peanuts.  I would like to understand if perhaps peanuts can give me more nuts in my ice cream.  That reminds me, I'm out of Chapman's, again.  I need faster delivery - faster is better, right?  Oh and I almost forgot, notice how there is less war now that the elderly vet is dead?  Right kids?  There's less war when you kill soldiers just like there's less violence when you ban guns and get rid of the NRA.  Now what type of peanuts does this giant truck with flames on its hood take?  Is it Planters or...?