When I was a teenager in North York (Toronto, Ontario) I lay down on my bed happy one particularly warm night with a smile the size of the sun. I just looked at my ceiling in the physical sense, but I was floating in another magical realm. I was not on drugs as many of Canada's youth and adults might have thought because unlike you my family values are a bit different. Now that Canadians are legalizing marijuana, people like me have more to complain about than lack of fresh air when passing by smokers. Clearly I am cut from a different cloth, in fact I am that teenager who moved out of his mama's house because she was smoking. So all that aside, I was dreaming of myself at the age of forty, celebrating Christmas just the way I recall my family did, except in my fantasy, I was the head of the family, my children were opening their presents, and my wife, well, she was nowhere to be found, because as is the case with much of my thinking, she was preparing warm eggnog. To her a smell and a memory was just as important as the faces and sounds were to me.
You see, I was born blind sorta and so I focus more on what I hear, and she was not so she focuses more on things that I never do. This is the point of marriage, and it's a great reason why children need two parents at the very least, two very different role models. Not one, not a half, as is the case in case the mother is an alcoholic, but two fully functioning adults who love each child fairly and passionately. But you Canadians being the grinches that you have evolved to be, you stole this Christmas from me. You did, not some across the sea terrorists. Not some gang thug from Los Angeles. Not some angry man with a lead pipe. Not some golddigger feminist. You Canadians, and you alone, destroyed this dream before it ever took off the ground. And I am desperately trying to figure out why. I can not get it back, I can never go back through time, even if I did have a time machine, and I can not explain to you all that you are all guilty. For no bully wishes to grasp that they shouldn't have stolen that lunch money on that particular day. In fact, should you try to explain it to the bully decades later at a pub, they would still be just as unintelligent as back then and would honestly try to offer you the exact same sum despite all the accruing interest and other tidbits. For you see, if bullies like you Canadians were normal and intelligent, well, that pub moment wouldn't be between a bully and his victim, would it? It would be between two friends instead. But that Christmas you all stole dear grinches and I wish to know why. I wish to understand the insanity prevailant in the heads of Canada's women, judicial and enforcement constables, judges, doctors, and common man. The chefs still cook good food. The street sweepers still sweep streets. The arbourists still trim trees. And the bikini makers still manage to make all of us look hot despite our misinterpretation of what an attractive curve is. But the rest of the people living in Canada, I am afraid to say, are quite nuts and not in the Jim Carrey way.
That night, you see, I fell in love, kinda, sorta. But it never could be. The woman looked marvelous, the dress was fantastic, and I, well, I wasn't half as dressed well as I oughta have been to have enjoyed that wonderful spinning moment with her. So instead I picked myself up from that place and went home to day dream of what a normal life must be like. The rest of my friends all went to a pool party, and partied it up all night. But me, being the disabled loser that I am, I went home all alone - and I wasn't sad, I didn't cry, instead I was blissfully happy, happier than ever before. Because I saw in that blink of an eye my task ahead. I saw all that was missing, all that I could not be to her, to them, to myself, and I knew I had to go and plan and prepare so the next moment I fell in love wouldn't be a wasted opportunity. In effect, I was smiling not because I was horny as a teen, not because I was planning a world dominating strategy, and not because I was lost in some illusion of grandiosity as many might be when blinded by foolish issues of the heart. Instead, I realized if I became successful through hard effort and studies, the next time I was near a woman dressed in an impeccable dress, unlike all others in fine attire I would not be the only one in jeans due to poverty. I realized that at least I can afford better clothes. Maybe I couldn't improve my crippled eyes. Maybe I couldn't improve my face. Maybe I could fix this but not that. Maybe I could learn to dance. Maybe I could know how to make jokes and play sports and all the other things not as disabled kids knew. And so I lay there imaging a life that I believed anyone would be happy with and yet it was only what I wanted. For it seems the rest of you wanted me dead. In fact, just as I wrote the word dead a police vehicle passed by the store's entrance as I wrote it even though I sat here for over half an hour. And as you're about to read, it was them whom abused me the most.
Canadians, it would seem are simple school yard bullies and nothing more. They lack genuine intelligence. They suffer from mental illnesses. And are as mean spirited as any grinch would be. And just like your typical bully, they lie about their ways. And just like any bully they never admit that they threw the first punch for no reason at least on the part of their victim. And just like any criminal, terrorist, or crazy man, they will push their argument and point of view until their final breath. Because if they even once admitted to the truth of the matter, then all of their years and decades of doing things a certain way would be seen as the wrong way. Imagine a typical school yard bully - tough, tall, spotting a weakling child wearing thick ugly glasses like mine were when I was little and still are mind you. Except now I'm in Canada and couldn't afford to buy them for almost three decades, but that's another story. Imagine this bully with their "advantage is in my court" mentality approaching the weakly not-yet-a-man object of life and conversing. Does he offer to protect him at a cost? Does he offer his lunch so that the weaker soon-to-be-man could grow stronger? Or does the bully, like a typical Canadian, take, take, take while the little blind man gives, gives, gives? Even in Hollywood films, the bully threatens in some fashion and the victim yields. This is a power dynamic present all around us. With cameras, and principals having access to the plethora of mini pocket britanicas also known as Wikipedia iand Internet, psychology is in many people's minds something that functions only the way the matter is explained in those texts and no other way. So if they witnessed the bully punching the victim it would be a big deal. And as bullies also have access to the same mini pocket britanica, they know what the authorities know. So they would not throw a punch in plain sight would they? Instead, the bullies would threaten through methods not easily spotted unless you are on the inside. The bully might just give a look to the victim, by gently lowering their jaw, looking to their right, raising their eyebrwos and moving their eyes upwards after asking "Do you also like french fries like I do?" A simple honest question. And since authorities can not watch nor observe outside of the school yard, and the victim is weaker and knows he has to walk home and so forth, the answer better be "I love them, would you like some?" And so the victim appears as a friendly man whom buys French fries for his friend all the time. And so nobody is the wiser. Until the victim grows old, moves to a completely different country and tells a few people why he spent so much money being kind to people whom all believed were his friends. Until that moment, the world believed the man was merely polite, and the rest were disadvantaged or privileged individuals. You know, he was bunch French fries for all his friends, must be a nice soul. And she was a kind woman who cared for all those mean men all her life and never harmed a soul. We have these stereotypical concepts in our minds and we give in to them all the time - but when the police use the stereotypes and so do the doctors and judges and therapists, that is the moment when the entire nation and society are no longer considered free, democratic, nor worth living in and probably a sign the entire country should be taken apart and perhaps a new land formed with a new governance and a set of constitutional principles. Yes, I believe Canada should cease to exist and so should you - for it is not a good nation nor is it formed under any sort of normal laws. For starters, isn't Canada not a word in the English language? England is an English word, but Canada is a name the Canadian people stole from those whom they also stole the land from. Imagine me moving into your house, killing and pillaging your family, and then living in your home using your last name as if it were my own? That is Canada, that is who you people are, and that is what your ancestors are proud of, and coincidentally that is why your maple leaf is red - the blood of the natives was seen drenching the maple leaf on the ground and hence why the population voted for that flag - so that the savage brutal truth would never be forgotten. And yet I did not know any of this as I lay on my bed dreaming of a beautiful family Christmas moment for my 40th year of life. And now, now that you all abused me, belittled me, tortured me, insulted me, degraded me, adding a disability to me despite my being born blind already, now I grasp the significance of all that was written about the First Nations(tm) or is it Natives(R) or is it Red Skins(RTM) or is it (c)Indians in "our" history books. Now I understand why the Metis, Cree, Ojibwa, and Nunavut are not really part of MLB, NFL, MLS, NBA, and many other sports. Now I understand why "their" reserves lack fire truck funds. Now I grasp why Residential Schools was not mentioned once in all my high school or post high school readings. Now I know why native women are missing. Now it is clear why there are no natives working in Subway restaurants. Now it all seems to make sense doesn't it? Now I know why I like and hate, at the same time, giving spare change to the native man beating a drum in front of the AGO museum. Now I know why you Canadians identify with the colours red and white. Because those are the colours of hell, hatred, murder, violence, and bigotry. At least in some belief structures. And it also makes sense why I have honestly almost never seen First Nation's people enjoying corporate culture as much as other people have. It's not their way, right? Their way isn't this. Their way isn't abusing already disabled men. Their way isn't ridiculing victims of police hatred by driving past them whenever they exit their homes and claiming it's a coincidence. Their way isn't taunting weaker people until they become homeless. Their way isn't your way Canada, is it? I don't really know their way, nor do native women attract me, so I have never explored their culture, and now that I know what Canada is, now I do not want to. Now, I even feel guilty for taking books from the library and reading even one chapter of the native culture. I do not even wish to know the word Ojibwai, or know what a fishing hole is in the arctic. Now I long for the days when I never stepped foot onto "your" land whereas in fact if it were "their" land perhaps that peace pipe would have been smoked by someone like me whom never would have allowed his men and women to slaughter a single hair off of anyone's head. But the Canada you all built all these hundreds of years, it has no soul, it has nothing but an empty Christmas for me this year as it had an empty Christmas for me all these thirty y ears so far. In fact, I am that Canadian who has never said no to a woman ever, but has also never once had a single date. I am the Canadian whom you all claimed would support from fleeing a war zone in the Balkans, but then ruined the life of even more brutally than had I been a soldier. You Canadians are the very people you claim those across the sea are as terrorists. Your forces, doctors and helpful souls are smiling in the faces of victims while planning a back stabbing gesture.
My 39th Christmas I spent sitting all alone on my hard wood floor. I watched TV. I drank tea. I had not a soul to comfort nor hug me. I had no beer. I had no drugs. I had no sex, love, romance, nor a warm fire place. But the rest of you, because none of you are disabled from birth, you all had what I can only describe as an orgy of heavenly luxurious pleasure. Many of you danced in clubs, something I never even enjoyed once so far. Many of you watched fireworks, something I could have enjoyed were a friendly face alive in all of Toronto to walk with me in the darkness. I could have enjoyed a concert, or two, but so far by my fortieth birthday I never once have been taken to one. I could have enjoyed lots of things, even a pretentious night with a woman via some hook up app like Tinder - but that's not my idea of normal, that is yours Canada. If I am going to pay for that, then might as well pay for cocaine, hookers, and children, the way you all claim Michael Jackson did, right? If I am going to pay for a woman's dinner as means of getting to know her, then I might as well pay for a 24k diamond ring, a mansion, a Lambo, and the production of studio mixes of my music while I'm at it. Is that really what you Canadians think life is? And without any of that, I am not worth a God damn thing to you women? You all preach feminism and equality but someone like me is considered ugly and unworthy of a date? This is why I love that moment when I was a kid on that bed day dreaming. This is why I didn't go to that pool party as a teen. Because even then it was made apparent to me that I was worthless. You all had slacks, and I was in jeans. I was the only kid in jeans that night, and not because I was rebelling. It was because you all were not caring. And not you all as kids, but you all as Canadians, as adults, who created that moment. None of my fellow students were responsible for my poverty back then. But the authorities were. The police were. The leadership was. And most especially you women were. I didn't buy a cigarette once in my life, nor weed, nor alcohol as a teen. I didn't smash holes in the wall with pool balls as your kids these days are doing at parties. I didn't fight nobody, and I have yet to throw a punch at a dog despite being a Junior Instructor at the Shaolin Kung Fu temple for a year. In fact, I have yet to even yell in anger at a woman, but you Canadians did things to me under the guise of help, protection, and kindness that I read on CBCNN and CP24 only terrorists to have done. Who takes a perfectly healthy man and drugs him, tortures him, makes him cry and shiver with cold and deprives him of food for over 24 hours and then taunts with police cruisers and even insults his first attempts at calligraphy artwork in his own living room while representing the Canadian government? Terrorists do. And yet when you are labelled as such, you violate the person even more claiming they are working against the national best interest - which in fact you yourselves were all these decades. Who deprives a man as blind as me of a single pair of reading glasses for almost three decades while giving single women who did not even bother to make a budget money for their newborns? If another nation over the ocean did these things, the Facebook masses would yell horrific things, such as "bomb them to bits" and forever echoing the same violent sentiments you all believe are signs of madness. And yet Canada has done all these things and more to people like me and others whom posed no harm to anyone let alone ourselves. And this is where the school yard bully comes into play. After taking the French fries all those times from the victim does the bully say out loud "I was using force and hatred to steal French fries" or does the bully say "This is my best bud, he is so kind and bought me French fries. I love him. And so if he were hurt I would definintely help him" implying that if he stops buying French fries he might get hurt? What of those two would the bully say? Because as a kid, I watched plenty people eating French fries in the high school cafeteria, where I wasn't even allowed to sit. People like me and my friends we sat all those years on the floor in the hallway, and nobody ever bought French fries except a few times. In fact, I can recall how awkward it felt even standing in the line in that cafeteria room that sells burgers and fries, because I stood there exactly once, just to see what it looked like inside where that food was served. I was that poor as a kid in the '90s that I never even bought anything there.
So when I tell you Canada is an abusive, aggressive, mean-spirited grinch that stole my Christmas, believe me I know what I'm saying, doing, and thinking. But the people running this world of peacekeeping, they also know what they are doing and for what reason. And they would sooner murder through legal methods any whisleblowers than agree, bow down, and alter their course. If I were to give these people another name to describe them other than Canadians, it would be Titanicers. They are so mad as in crazy, as in not right in the head, that whilest knowing the Titanic is heading for an iceberg, they do not want to raise panic and would rather sink the nation and all of us than change course and ruin the voyage. Personally, a voyage that leads where Titanic leads is already ruined so changing course is the only sane thing. But the insane can never take insight from the sane. Just like the bully can never learn not to steal French fries. And all the kids that grew up in the '90s, much like all those of you reading this still do not get the point of this blog post so I will explain it. Thousands of you watched me in high school, and not one of you thought of buying m e French fries of your own, did you? And you still do not think of such normal gestures despite being Canadian. Simple, clear, proof that you are all mentally ill and self-centered, so self-evident, that not one of you needs to finish any psychology schools to grasp what is the problem. In fact, you are all so sick that you would even argue the point that it is my fault for not asking. And I agree, it is my fault for not asking. It is my fault completely for not socializing, not networking, not being in your groups, while my secret agenda was to score fries. It is my fault that I do not have a rumour mill and acting skills to hide that my aim is like yours - to infiltrate and steal things for free and then move on like a locust to more profitable fields the way the rest of you Canadians function. Is it any wonder why the divorce rate is so high? Why violence is so rampant? It is because you people do not know how to share. Plain and simple. You all know how to take, still, despite eons and eons of evolution. Even Canadians only know hot to take'n'lie. And so now that you took my 40th Christmas from me, the lie is, that it's not you who did it, it's me who is incapable of working, behaving, and thinking. TNL is the strategy of every bully. And so it is mine. I am lying about all of this to hide my deficiencies as a disabled man, aren't I? But here is what I am not lying about. My 40th Christmas will not be spent with a beautiful woman nor my children for I have none of either category of humans near me nor have I had any children. And oddly enough, posting this blog post was the first time that my laptop refused to connect to the network where I connected all the times prior and yet my cell phone had no problems so I had to route the post through the cell phone. Isn't it unusually coincidental? How can one device connect but not the other and yet yesterday they all worked? Seems the more I write against Canada's face of peacekeeping the harder it gets to write simple English blog posts. That does not sound like Canada, does it? Nor does it sound like Canada that a man as beautiful as man never once had a woman showing interest in him does it? And yet, right behind me is the CN Tower and Skydome although now the haters renamed it into Rogers Center because hey, beautiful things only existed in our past such as the name, Skydome. And so in the past is the only place where I still can see myself laying happily on a bed day dreaming of a beautiful future. For last night I dreamed of being locked up in a government of Canada hospital where guards and doctors were torturing me. Strange how doctors tell patients that dreams are meaningless, and yet I never had such nightmares before doctors of Canada abused me. The bully says that the victim's words are lies. It seems nothing has really changed despite all this technology, printing presses, and religion, has it? My rice is still boiled, food is still tasty, and you Canadians are still abusive and nothing but terrorists.
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