Very man people are kind, but unfortunately even in the city of Toronto, very many people can not even know the dictionary definition let alone what it entails. This is surprising to me given how simple kindness is. One sees a child crying and bends their knee and asks what's wrong. One does not pummel the child with fists until the tears stop. If you are the sort who grasps not these matters then check yourself in please for it is something we all normal people learn at a very early age. In fact, I'd recon it's not something we even learn, it's just obvious, right? Right? Judging by how even Torontonians behave I'd say nope.
The other day I was playing soccer at U of T as I usually do. There are big giant signs that even my low vision eyes can see stating "NO DOGS" (not my own capitalization). But even without these signs it might make sense not to bring a dog to roam freely unleashed on a plateau where we all play sports. Granted, sports with dogs are fun, but, well, you kids haven't grown up to that phase yet. All that said, if a soccer field with actual goals has people playing soccer on it, why would you bring a giant German Sheppard without a leash and toss a ball for the dog to catch? Perhaps all the other park space was busy. Perhaps you don't speak English. Perhaps you have a mental illness. But whatever it is, we all know that a dog likes to bite a soccer ball. How can one own an animal and not know this fact is beyond my reach. And to whom does it happen that a giant dog grabs his ball and chews it for a full two minutes? Why, of course, to the person whom is most likely to miss the ball and kick it out of the soccer field - the one with low vision, me! And that's exactly what happened.
The ball went out of bounds and straight into the giant beast's mouth. It was so happy, even my low vision eyes could see how satisfied the dog was. Just like I would be if Britney Spears was in this tea shop with me. It's "owner" (I thought slavery was over?) probably only lets it play with small tiny balls, and all dogs love big things to chew on - though you city hipsters won't know this as you are all animals towards "animals", unless of course you think tugging by the neck with a leash and it's legs leaping off the ground in your chosen direction is kindness? We go back to the opening point where I said not all of us know what it is, right? And indeed we do not as this woman proved. Her dog chewed on my soccer ball for what seemed like an eternity. But the woman stood like a statue. Frozen in spacetime. She didn't approach the dog, didn't try to save my ball, she just stared. So I figured as a Canadian would to just laugh at the whole thing and started having fun. "Go on dog, chew my ball! Eat it up dog! Bite harder dog! Eat the whole thing! She'll buy me a new ball so get to it! Chew the ball dogface!!! Destroy it!!! I want a new ball!!". The owner did not look too pleased I imagine, but alas, I was blessed with low vision so I have no idea. The dog ran around with the ball obviously feeling guilty as most dog owners make their pets feel this ridiculous emotion for doing simple normal dog stuff. And then it let go. And here is the rude part. Nothing the dog did was wrong nor weird mind you, in fact, the German Sheppard is the most innocent of us all. The rude part was the woman attaching a leash then, after damage had been done, and walked away, without tossing the ball back to me. I stood there and asked "Can you at least pass me the ball back?". The Asian woman turned around and said "I am a little busy" and kept walking away. None of it true, for she was merely walking a dog on a leash like anyone else. Her phrase was your typical female lying - she knows she's guilty and is avoiding the consequences.
So like any white man with a shaved head I walked out of the soccer field and approached her and said "The ball was worth $30, may I have thirty dollars?". She batted her pretty eyes and said like any woman guilty of a sin "I do not have thirty dollars, sorry." And then she wanted to walk away. As if not having money right there and then was excuse not to pay for damages. So I asked the next obvious question, as when faced with these female sociopaths one has to understand they play games not just in their minds either. "Can you buy me a new ball and bring it here, I can wait?". I am a patient Canadian after all. I have all day to play ball. But she said "I am not going to buy you a new ball.". I figured as much which is why she didn't pass the ball back. So I said "Ok, you owe me a ball. But it's okay" or something harmless without any insults and went back to play with my dog chewed ball. Having already experienced this style of abuse in Serbia I learned my lesson pretty well and now only use a quarter deflated balls. I found through "hard experience" that they pop less often and saves me money. The rest of you have "different" family values from me, so I have to conserve my money since you do not have to conserve a single thing, not even Earth's resources. Either way, the dog didn't cause a single problem to nobody - it twas all man's fault. Now if only I can reason with the Canadian government that us disabled men are worthy of social assistance to fund a soccer b all once every government-decided-upon-time-interval. Because so far I have to buy all soccer balls on credit, and in a nation as rich as Canada, that should be a crime you all should be ashamed of not being found guilty of.
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